Step 1 - Day 1

I decided after watching "Julie and Julia" last night that I was going to start a blog about the 12 steps. Al-Anon has recently come into my life as a path and program and since I am a writer, and like to write, I wanted to use writing as a way to process the ideas and questions of the 12 steps, in relationship to my son's recent diagnosis with Bi-Polar disorder.

I plan to write my thoughts, feelings, reactions and experiences of my relating to the ideas of the 12 steps, and my son's diagnosis, on a daily basis, approaching one step per month, 12 steps in 12 months by the end. That will give me thirty days to mediate and reflect on each step, and write about it as I go.

So here goes:

Step # 1:

" We admitted we were powerless over ________ (alcohol) ---that our lives had become unmanageable"

I intentionally put a blank where the word alcohol is usually placed because, really, any addiction can be placed in that blank. Al-Anon was created to support relatives and friends of alcoholics in their own recovery from the disease. But any addiction will have the same effect on a relationship.

AA, or Alcoholics Anonymous, is the only recovery program that has a sister program for the relatives and friends of alcoholics. Many of us who are dealing with other addictions or issues in our lives find ourselves being recommended to, or gravitating toward, the Al-Anon group to get the same kind of support and help.

This is a good thing. I have concluded this, though I haven't opened my mouth a single time in the four meetings I have gone to, so far. I don't feel ready to speak yet, but hearing everyone else speak is like hearing my own thoughts, recorded in another persons voice, being spoken aloud back to me, each time I go. That, in-and-of-itself, is an eye-opener.

I've done a lot of soul-searching and spiritual journeying, been involved with other paths and teachers, and I have found more sympathy, understanding and acceptance in that one room than I have had in twenty years. And that is saying a lot. It's amazing when you are finally ready to start seeing yourself, clearly, for the first time. All kinds of wonderful changes start to happen.

I intend to write about that here. I intend to keep it real too. I am not "sold" on the program yet, but I am going to give it a try. I'll tell you what happens as I do.

Thanks for reading this!

Keep coming back:) *smile*